Getting naked with girls and other birthday wishes

I love birthdays – more specifically, my birthday – in the most unholy of ways, like expecting a genie in a bottle kind of way or mom said I don’t have to empty the dishwasher kind of way. I am boss (a.k.a. one who acts with confidence and finesse) for one whole dayIt goes something like this:

I wake up and pour some cereal and get back in bed and slurp over my laptop, like a boss. Click, tap, tiny splatter, just like that now I’m watching the new season of HBO’s Girls, like a boss. And I don’t  worry if it’s the anti-Christ or the anti-Friedan because bosses don’t pay mind to the thought minions.

hannah-jessa-bath-naked-nude-portable-girls-hbo-3-355x285I see this episode in which Hannah, this chubby-cherub of a twenty-something, is sitting naked in the bathtub. If you know Hannah, you know she is always naked, like eating a cupcake in the nude or having a painful pee in the woods nude. So when her friend Jessa barges in on her in typical crisis mode, Hannah stands up to grab a towel, not ashamed or anything but trying to polite, and instead Jessa says, “No stay,” and then takes her shirt off and sits down in the other end of the tub and it’s a small tub because it’s a Brooklyn apartment but there are these two girls with their tits out in the tub (pardon me) and I think to myself, lucidly, I want that.

I turned 29 on Saturday. And I think there are things one should be capable of doing before they turn 30. Like mowing a lawn or sewing a button or getting naked with girls and feeling absolutely free and alive and non-sexual, if you like. It can start small, too, like inviting them into the dressing room with you or going skinny dipping in the hot tub together. I don’t want to wait until I’m eighty-five and roaming around the YMCA locker room to finally start acting like a boss.

Before I turn 30, I somehow want to find this zen blend of being so very mature in wisdom and so very childlike in winsome. To that end, I’ve made a silly list, but a serious one, too, of the 30 things I want do before turning 30. Here they are, in no particular order:

  1. Don’t color my hair for a year; let the gray grow in like weeds, all wiry and mud
  2. Hike Mt. Mitchell, with an overnight pack and tent, the dog and husband, too
  3. Start putting sunscreen and moisturizer on my lady neck
  4. Find Mom a house in Durham and learn to love her up close again
  5. Take a cooking class – try harder, woman
  6. Get excited about some graphic design software and learn how to use it all proper
  7. Make up a name and labels for fake candle-making business
  8. Film a video a month and put it to my favorite music; screw YouTube copyright laws
  9. Read better writers; ask for recommendations
  10. Put up a hospitality table at the end of the driveway and pass out dog biscuits
  11. Start reviewing products and restaurants and clothes purchases; pretend like I’m famous and work for a magazine and people actually care what I think
  12. Open a Tumblr page for said reviews
  13. Plan, design, and lead a retreat
  14. Raise my hands up in worship and stop worrying who’s looking
  15. Put a bandaid on and wear high heels
  16. Sponsor a global woman entrepreneur
  17. Start inviting guest bloggers, once a month
  18. Experiment with audio and video blog entries even if they’re super homemade
  19. Throw a kick-ass book launch party for Talking Taboo and invite all my favorite people and all the people I want to be my favorite people
  20. Write next book; come up with a calendar for completion
  21. Convene a writing group that comes together quarterly to share and support
  22. Eat Scripture for breakfast, never get full
  23. Be a fan of other bloggers, especially younger women
  24. Follow my friend’s work; comment on it often
  25. Have a conversation with someone who has adopted children domestically; how much does it cost?
  26. Come up with one action I can take to curb violence in Durham; get more comfortable with death
  27. Give money to panhandlers, freely and whenever asked
  28. Practice watching people on television lose, on the Voice or in the NCAA; it’s good to experience disappointment, my own included
  29. Get me a pair of high-top wedge sneakers that don’t cost $195 or look like Sketchers
  30. Love my husband like it’s my job, like a boss.

6 responses to “Getting naked with girls and other birthday wishes

  1. You are one of my favorite people, seriously. I always love your posts, but this one made me smile so much. I think the candle making is my favorite. My birthday was this month and I started a similar list. Here’s to living like a boss!

  2. Erin,
    I hope you know that I read your blog every week. I especially enjoyed this one. I loved the list of 30 things you want to do before your 30th birthday. I’m so sorry that we did not get to talk on your birthday. Nanny and I called and left a message. I assume you and Rush were probably out celebrating and having fun. I hope you know how much you mean to me and how very much I love you.

  3. I LOVE this post! I always do but this one especially was inspiring. You are a total boss!

  4. I love your list of 30 things before 30. Such wisdom in it–especially as your list is different than most _____ before______lists since it isn’t just a list of super fun/adventurous/self-centered things to do….I like how the list is about taking risks in the scariest ways, not in daredevil ways.

  5. I love this. I’m pretty sure Wild Wild Wes would love to participate in #10 (and maybe I could help you!). And to help out with #25, you should talk to Sarah Cameron (Rush can hook you up). They just adopted a baby boy in California last week!


    Erin, I will appropriately not comment about appropriate nudity but I’m in support. And the whole list was totally BOSS (adj.). Great idea to make such a list. Now I hope you friends and strangers can help you check them off!!

    Andrew Hoeksema

    Sent remotely.

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